The Best Loki Quotes from the New Marvel Series on Disney+

Loki is back!

The new series from Marvel Studios is now streaming on Disney+, and it sure seems like the god of Mischief has a few tricks left up his sleeves.

Speaking of sleeves! Check out my DIY Loki Time Variance Shirt tutorial!

When in The Marvel Timeline Does Loki Take Place?

Well, that is a fascinating question, really… and one that will surely evolve throughout the season.

The series, featuring Loki (the god of Mischief himself), takes place after the events of Endgame when Loki escapes his timeline with the Tesseract.

But considering we’re dealing with the Time Variance Authority, aka the TVA, well, things may soon change.

Tom Hiddleston returns as the title character, joined by Owen Wilson, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Sophia Di Martino, Wunmi Mosaku and Richard E. Grant. 

The Best Loki Quotes 

I am ALWAYS quoting movies and incorporating my favorite Marvel quotes into my captions and conversations. I figured I can’t be the only one out there who does this, so I’m sharing my favorite quotes from Marvel’s Loki!

(You can also check out my favorite WandaVision quotes and The Falcon and the Winter Soldier quotes.)

I am Loki of Asgard. And I am burdened with glorious purpose. – Loki

You are now moving at 1/16th speed, but feeling all that pain in real time. – Hunter B-15

Reset the timeline. – Hunter B-15

You cross me, there are deadly consequences. – Loki

Please sign to verify this is everything you’ve ever said. – Paperwork clerk / What? – Loki / Sign this, too. – Paperwork clerk

Please confirm to your knowledge that you are not a fully robotic being, were born an organic creature, and do in fact possess what many cultures would call a soul. – TVA Employee / What? “To my knowledge”? Do a lot of people not know if they’re robots? – Loki / That you for your confirmation. Please move through. – TVA Employee / What if I was a robot and I didn’t know it? – Loki / The machine would melt you from the inside out. Please move along, sir. – TVA Employee

Welcome to the Time Variance Authority. I’m Miss Minutes, and it’s my job to catch you up before you stand trial for your crimes. So let’s not waste another minute. Settle in, sharpen your pencils, and check this out. Long ago, there was a vast multiverse war. Countless unique timelines battled each other for supremacy, nearly resulting in the total destruction of, well, everything. But then, the all-knowing Time-Keepers emerged, bringing peace by reorganizing the multiverse into a single timeline, the Sacred Timeline. Now, the Time-Keepers protect and preserve the proper flow of time for everyone and everything. But sometimes, people like you veer off the path the Time-Keepers created. We call those Variants. Maybe you started an uprising or were just late for work. Whatever it was, stepping off your path created a nexus event, which, left unchecked, could branch off into madness, leading to another multiversal war. But, don’t worry, to make sure that doesn’t happen, the Time-Keepers created the TVA and all its incredible workers. The TVA has stepped in to fix your mistake and set time back on its predetermined path. Now that your actions have left you without a place on the timeline, you must stand trial for your offenses. So sit tight, and we’ll get you in front of a judge in no time. Just make sure you have your ticket and you’ll be seen by the next available attendant. For all time. Always. – Miss Minutes

Time-Keepers? The Sacred timeline? Who actually believes this bunkum? – Loki

Laufesyson. Variant L1130, AKA Loki Laufeyson, is charged with sequence violation 7-20-89. How do you plead? – Ravonna Renslayer / Madam, a god doesn’t plead. Look, this has been a very enjoyable pantomime, but I’d like to go home now. – Loki

Are you guilty or not guilty, sir? – Ravonna Renslayer / Guilty of being the God of Mischief? Yes. Guilty of finding all of this incredibly tedious? Yes. Guilty of a crime against the Sacred Timeline? Absolutely not, you have the wrong person. – Loki / Oh, really? And who should we have? – Ravonna Renslayer / I suspect, the Avengers. You see, I only came into possession of the Tesseract because they traveled through time, no doubt in a last-ditch effort to stave off my ascent to God King. – Loki / That’s quite an accusation. – Ravonna Renslayer / Believe me, you can smell the cologne of two Tony Starks. – Loki

Magic powers? They’re no good in the TVA, Mr. Laufeyson. – Ravonna Renslayer

You ridiculous bureaucrats will not dictate how my story ends! – Loki / It’s not your story, Mr. Laufeyson. It never was. – Ravonna Renslayer / You have no idea what I’m capable of! – Loki

I’m gonna burn this place to the ground. – Loki / I’ll show you where my desk is, you can start there. – Agent Mobius

This place is a nightmare. – Loki / That’s another department. Now that department I’ll help you burn down. – Agent Mobius

I’m taking you some place to talk. – Agent Mobius / I don’t like to talk. – Loki / But you do like to lie, which you just did. Because we both know you love to talk. Talkie-talkie. – Agent Mobius

How long have you been here? – Loki / I don’t know. It’s hard to say, time passes differently here in the TVA. – Agent Mobius

The idea that your little club decides the fate of trillions of people across all of existence at the best of three space lizards, yes, it’s funny. It’s absurd. – Loki / I thought you didn’t like to talk? – Agent Mobius

For the record, this really does feel like a killing-me kind of a room. – Loki

Not big on trust are you? – Agent Mobius / Trust is for children and dogs. There’s only one person you can trust. – Loki / Yourself? I like it. Slap it on a T-shirt. – Agent Mobius

If the TVA truly oversees all of time, how have I never heard of you until now? – Loki / ‘Cause you never needed to. You’ve always lived within your set path. – Agent Mobius / I live within whatever path I choose. – Loki / Sure, you do. Okay, come have a seat. – Agent Mobius

I specialize in the pursuit of dangerous Variants. – Agent Mobius / Like myself? – Loki / No, particularly dangerous Variants. You’re just a little pussycat. – Agent Mobius

Space is big. That’d be a nice feather in your cap. “Loki, the King of Space.” – Agent Mobius / Mock me if you dare. – Loki / No, I’m not. Honestly, I’m actually a fan. Yeah. And I guess I’m wondering why does someone with so much range just wanna rule? – Agent Mobius

The first and most oppressive lie ever uttered was the song of freedom. – Loki / How’s that one go? – Agent Mobius / For nearly every living thing, choice breeds shame and uncertainly and regret. There’s a fork in every road, yet the wrong path always taken. – Loki 

The Time-Keepers have built quite the circus, and I see the clowns are playing their parts to perfection. – Loki / Big metaphor guy. I love it. Makes you sound super smart. – Agent Mobius / I am smart. – Loki / I know. – Agent Mobius / Okay. – Loki / Okay. – Agent Mobius

It’s funny, for someone born to rule, you sure do lose a lot. You might even say it’s in your nature. – Agent Mobius / You know, things didn’t turn out so well for the last person who said that to me. – Loki / Oh, yeah, Phil Coulson. Didn’t the Avengers literally avenge him by defeating you? – Agent Mobius / Little solace to a dead man. – Loki

Let’s talk about your escapes. You’re really good at doing awful things, and then just getting away. – Agent Mobius / What can I say? I’m a mischievous scamp. – Loki

I can’t believe you were D.B Cooper. Come on! – Agent Mobius / I was young, and I lost a bet to Thor. Where was the TVA when I was meddling with these affairs of men? – Loki / We were right there with you, just surfing that Sacred Timeline. – Agent Mobius / So that has the Time Keepers’ seal of approval, did it? – Loki / Well, I wouldn’t think of it in terms of approval and disapproval. – Agent Mobius

All I seek is a deeper understanding of the fearsome God of Mischief. What makes Loki tick? – Agent Mobius

My choices are my own. – Loki

The TVA doesn’t just know your whole past, we know your whole life, how it’s all meant to be. Think of it as comforting. – Agent Mobius

You weren’t born to be king, Loki. You were born to cause pain and suffering and death. That’s how it is, that’s how it was, that’s how it will be. All so that others can achieve their best versions of themselves. – Agent Mobius

Mischievous scamp. – Agent Mobius about Loki

Give me the Tesseract or I’ll gut you like a fish, Casey. -Loki / What’s a fish? – Casey

Infinity Stones? How, how do you have these? – Loki / Oh, we actually get a lot of those. Yeah. Some of the guys use them as paperweights. Some of ’em. – Casey

You almost hit me! That’s so messed up. I do not forgive you. – Casey to Hunter B-15

I don’t enjoy hurting people. I don’t enjoy it. I do it because I have to, because I’ve had to. – Loki / Okay, explain that to me. – Agent Mobius / Because it’s part of the illusion. It’s the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear. – Loki / A desperate play for control. You do know yourself. – Agent Mobius / A villain. – Loki / That’s not how I see it. – Agent Mobius

I can’t offer you salvation, but maybe I can offer you something better. A fugitive Variant’s been killing our Minutemen. – Agent Mobius / And you need the God of Mischief to help you stop him? – Loki / That’s right. – Agent Mobius / Why me? – Loki / The Variant we’re hunting is… you. – Agent Mobius / I beg your pardon? – Loki

Here’s the deal. When we get out on the branch, we’re not just looking for a Time Criminal. We’re looking for a Loki. A variation of this guy. A type we should all be very familiar with, because the TVA has pruned a lotta these guys, almost more than any other Variant. And no two are alike. Slight differences in appearances, or not so slight. Different powers, although powers generally include shape-shifting, illusion-projection, and my favorite… – Mobius / Duplication-casting. – Loki / Illusion-projection. – Mobius / No they’re two completely different powers. – Loki / How? – Mobius / Illusion-projection involved depicting a detailed image from outside oneself, which is perceptible in the external world, whereas duplication-casting entails recreating an exact facsimile of one’s own body in its present circumstance, which acts as a true holographic mirror of its molecular structure. But, uh, you already knew that. – Loki / Okay, take a breath. Noted. – Mobius

Let me ask you this, why don’t we just travel back to before the attack, when the Variant first arrives? – Loki / Nexus events destabilize the time flow. This branch is still changing and growing so you gotta show up in real time. Did you want any of the training videos you were supposed to? – Mobius / Well, as many as I could stand. Your TVA propaganda is exhausting. – Loki

Reset charges prune the affected radius of a branched timeline, allowing time to heal all its wounds. Which by the way sounds like a nice way of saying disintegrate everything in its vicinity. – Loki

I see a scheme, and in that scheme, I see myself. We have a saying in Asgard, “Where there are wolf’s ears, wolf’s teeth are near.” It means to be aware of your surroundings. Which is absurd, because my people are, by nature, gullible fools. A trait that I, the God of Mischief, exploited time and time again by simply listening. My teeth were sharp, but my ears even sharper. – Loki

You remind me of them. The Time Variance Authority and the gods of Asgard, one and the same. Drunk with power, blinded to the truth. Those you underestimate will devour you. You underestimate me, just as you underestimate this lesser Loki. Which is you you walk into one wolf’s mouth after another. – Loki

Come on Loki, make a long story short. – Mobius to Loki

This Variant is “insubordinate, stubborn, unpredictable.” Sounds like someone else I know. – Ravonna Renslayer / I was just thinking it sounds like someone I know. – Mobius

Loki is an evil, lying scourge. That is the part he plays on the Sacred Timeline. – Ravonna Renslayer / Maybe he wants to mix it up. Sometimes you get tired of playing the same part. Is that possible? He can change? – Mobius / Not unless the Time-Keepers decree it. And then, it shall be so. – Ravonna Renslayer

The Time-Keepers are monitoring every aspect of this case. I’ve never seen them so involved. They want that Variant caught. – Ravonna Renslayer / So do I. – Mobius / And this is the last chance you’re gonna get with this Loki. – Ravonna Renslayer / Great. That’s all I’m gonna need. – Mobius

You really believe in this Variant? – Ravonna Renslayer / Luckily, he believes in himself for the both of us. And, hey, if it doesn’t work, I’ll delete him myself. He’s really arrogant. – Mobius

You’re probably wondering what happened out on the mission. That was your first lesson in catching a Loki. Expect the expected. See, half the fun of being a trickster is knowing everyone knows you’re a trickster, and then, many of your tricks can come from exploding the fact that you know that they know… – Loki / Just shut up! Please. What happened to the guy I met on the elevator. Who didn’t like to talk. Remember him? Now I’m stuck with this guy who won’t stop yacking away about what makes a Loki tick! – Mobius / What? Isn’t that precisely why I’m here? – Loki / No. I don’t care what makes you tick. You’re here to help me catch the superior version of yourself. – Mobius

I believed, stupidly, that insecure need for validation would motivate you to find the killer. Not ’cause you care about the TVA mission or bein’ a hero, but because you know this Variant is better than you and you can’t take it. – Mobius / Very nice. I mean, it is adorable that you think you could possibly manipulate me. I’m ten steps ahead of you. I’ve been playing a game of my own all along. – Loki 

A double cross by history’s most reliable liar. – Mobius

I’m on some important TVA business. Follow-up from a field mission. You know how it goes. We red lined near the Apex, and, well, it’s never good. – Loki

Nexus events happen when someone does something they’re not supposed to do, right? – Loki / Well, it’s a little more complicated, but, yeah. – Mobius / Great. And then that thing they’re not supposed to do, cascades into a whole range of other things that aren’t supposed to happen. And so on and so forth, until eventually, a new timeline branches. Yes? – Loki / Chaotic alterations of a predetermined outcome. – Mobius 

If everything and everyone around you is destined for imminent destruction, then nothing that I say or do will matter, because the timeline’s not gonna branch. ‘Cause it gets destroyed. Hence, the Variant could be hiding in the apocalypse and do whatever he wants, and we wouldn’t know. – Loki

Here’s a fun theory. You lure me out into the field, and then you stab me in the back. And that’s a theory I don’t wanna test. – Mobius / I’d never stab anyone in the back. That’s such a boring form of betrayal. Loki, I’ve studied almost every moment of your entire life. You’ve literally stabbed people in the back, like, 50 times. – Mobius / Well, I’d never do it agin, because it got old. – Loki

You don’t trust me, you can trust one thing. I love to be right. – Loki

Oh Mobius! You make even the end of the world sound boring. – Loki to Mobius

Most things in history are kinda dumb, and everything gets ruined eventually. But in the brief 1990s, for a brief, shining moment, there was a beautiful union of form and function, which we call the jet ski, and a reasonable man cannot differ. – Mobius

If you think too hard about where any of us came from, who we truly are, it sounds kinda ridiculous. Existence is chaos. Nothing makes any sense, so we try to make some sense of it. And I’m just lucky that the chaos I emerged into gave me all this… my own glorious purpose. ‘Cause the TVA is my life. And it’s real because I believe it’s real. – Mobius / Fair enough. You believe it’s real. – Loki / Yeah. – Mobius / So everything is written. Past, present, future. There’s no such thing as free will. – Loki / Well, I mean, you know, it’s an oversimplification. – Mobius / So, in fact, in a way, you and I here at the TVA, we’re the only ones who are actually free. – Loki / Where are you going with all of this, Loki? – Mobius / How does it all end? – Loki / That’s a work in progress. – Mobius

While we protect what came before, they’re toiling away in their chamber, untangling the epilogue from its infinite branches. – Mobius about the Time-Keepers / Ah, I see. So, when they’re finished, what happens then? – Loki / So are we. No more nexus events. Just order. And we meet in peace at the end of time. Nice, right? – Mobius / Only order? No chaos? It sounds boring. – Loki / I’m sure it does to you. – Mobius

You called me a scared little boy. – Loki / I called you a lotta things. – Mobius / You did. You’re wrong, though. You see, I know something children don’t. -Loki / What’s that? – Mobius / That no one bad is ever truly bad. And no one good is every truly good. – Loki / Scared little boy. – Mobius / Yes, it was quite patronizing. I thought it was a bit too far, actually. – Loki

Do you have candy on Asgard? – Mobius / Yeah. Grapes, nuts. – Loki / No wonder you’re so bitter. – Mobius

So, you’re the fool the TVA brought in to hunt me down. – The Variant / Me, I presume. – Loki / Please. If anyone’s anyone, you’re me. – The Variant / How nice to meet you. – Loki

I would never treat me like this. – Loki about The Variant

What do you want from me? What is this about? – Loki / This isn’t about you. – The Variant / Right. – Loki

Are you sure you’re a Loki? – Loki / You’re in my way. – Sylvie / You are my way! – Loki

I thought perhaps we could work together. But now I see you lack vision. So, either you’ll come willingly or you won’t. Either way, that’s how I get to meet the Time-Keepers. – Loki to Sylvie

Didn’t need your help! – Sylvie / You’re so weird! – Loki

You trying to enchant me? It won’t work. – Loki / Why? Because you’re a magician? – Sylvie / No, because my mind is too strong. – Loki

Don’t call me Variant. – Sylvie / I’m sorry, but I’m not calling some faded photocopy of me “Loki.” – Loki / Good. ‘Cause that’s not who I am anymore. I’m Sylvie now. – Sylvie / Oh, you changed your name. Brilliant. – Loki / It’s called an alias. – Sylvie / It’s not very Loki-like. – Loki / Yeah? What exactly makes a Loki a Loki? – Sylvie / Independence, authority, style. – Loki

Brute force is no substitute for diplomacy and guile. – Loki 

FYI that wasn’t even a plan. – Sylvie / Oh, really? – Loki / Plans have multiple steps. Dressing as a guard and getting on a train is just doing a thing. – Sylvie

She was a Queen of Asgard. She was good. Purely decent. – Loki about his Mother / Are you sure she was your mother? – Sylvie / Oh, no, she’s not actually. I was adopted. Is that a bit of a spoiler for you? Sorry about that. – Loki / No, I knew I was adopted. – Sylvie / What? They told you? – Loki

When I was young she’d do these little bits of magic for me. Like turn a flower into a frog or cast fireworks over the water. It all seemed impossible, but she told me that one day I’d be able to do it too because… I could do anything. – Loki

She was the kinda person you’d want to believe in you. – Loki about his mother / Sounds like she does. – Sylvie

Love is a dagger. It’s a weapon to be wielded far away or up close. You can see yourself in it. It’s beautiful. Until it makes you bleed. But ultimately, when you reach for it… – Loki / It isn’t real. – Sylvie / Yeah. – Loki / Love is an imaginary dagger. – Sylvie / It doesn’t make sense, does it? – Loki / No. Terrible metaphor. – Sylvie / Damn. I thought I had something there. – Loki

You want to know how enchantment works. I have to make physical contact and then grab hold of their mind. – Sylvie / How? – Loki / It depends on the mind. Most are easy and I can overtake them instantly. Others, the stronger ones, it gets tricky. I’m in control, but they’re there, too. In order to preserve the connection, I have to create a fantasy from their memories. – Sylvie / And you call me a magician. – Loki

Do you have any idea how impossible it is to keep the timeline stable? The Time-Keepers are all that stand between us and full-scale calamity. – Ravonna Renslayer 

I remember Asgard. Not much, but I remember. My home, my people, my life. The universe wants to break free, so it manifests chaos. Like me being born the Goddess of Mischief. And as soon as that created a big enough detour from the Sacred Timeline, the TVA showed up, erased my reality, and took me prisoner. I was just a child. I escaped. Stole a TemPad and I ran for a long, long time, which really sucked. Everywhere and every-when I went, it caused a nexus event. Sent up a smoke flare. Because I’m not supposed to exist. Until, eventually, I figured out where to hide. And so that’s where I grew up, the ends of a thousand worlds. Now… that’s where I’ll die. – Sylvie

Do you think that what makes a Loki a Loki is the fact that we’re destined to lose? – Sylvie / No. We may lose. Sometimes painfully. But we don’t die. We survive. – Loki

I should have an equal amount of security. This is insulting! – Loki to Mobius

You know, it occurred to me that you’re not really the God of Mischief. – Mobius / Oh, here it comes. The folksy, dopey insult from the folksy dope. What am I? The God of Self-Sabotage, yeah? The God of Back-Stabbing? – Loki / Just kind of an asshole and a bad friend. Yeah, chew on that for a little bit. – Mobius

You. You conniving, craven, pathetic worm. – Lady Sif to Loki

You know, we brought in Kree, Titans, vampires. Why is it the two orphan demigods are such a pain in the ass? – Mobius

Two Variants of the same being, especially for you, forming this sick, twisted romantic relationship. That’s pure chaos. That could break reality. It’s breaking my reality right now. What an incredible seismic narcissist. You fell for yourself. – Mobius / Her name was Sylvie. – Loki

You’re all Variants! Everyone who works at the TVA. The Time-Keepers didn’t create you. They kidnapped you. They kidnapped you from the timeline and erased your memories. Memories she can access through enchantment. So before this, you had a past, maybe you had a family, a life. – Loki / Nice try. That was good. You two, what a pair. Gosh! Unbelievable. Wherever you go, it’s just death, destruction, the literal ends of worlds. – Mobius

So, I just have to trust the world of two Lokis? – Mobius / How about the word of a friend? – Loki

You could be whoever, whatever you wanna be, even someone good. I mean, just in case anyone ever told you different. – Mobius to Loki

You know where I’d go if I could go anywhere? Wherever it is I’m really from. Yeah, wherever I had a life before the TVA came along. Maybe I had a jet ski. That’s what I’d like to do. Just riding around on my jet ski. – Mobius / Prune him. – Ravonna Renslayer 

Is that the only reason you brought us here? To kill us? I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve been killed, so go ahead. Do your worst. – Loki to the Time-Keepers

 

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